Happy Thanksgiving EVERYONE
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A scientist and a poet were traveling in the same compartment on a train. They had never met before, so naturally there wasn't much conversation between the two.
The poet was minding his own business, looking out the window at the beauty of the passing terrain. The scientist was very uptight, trying to think of things he didn't know so he could try to figure them out. Finally, the scientist was so bored that he said to the poet, "Hey, do you want to play a game?" The poet, being content with what he was doing, ignored him and continued looking out the window, humming quietly to himself. This infuriated the scientist, who irritably asked again, "Hey, you, do you want to play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, YOU ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give YOU $5."
The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the scientist was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the scientist's offer.
The scientist, who by this time was going mad, tried a final time. "Look, I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask ME a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50!"
Now, the poet was not that smart academically, but he wasn't totally stupid. He readily accepted the offer. "Okay," the scientist said, "what is the EXACT distance between the Earth and the Moon?" The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the scientist's question.
He took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist. The scientist happily accepted the bill and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn." The poet thought about this for a few minutes and then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?"
The bright glow quickly vanished from the scientist's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. After about an hour of this, the poet quietly watching the mountains of Colorado go by the whole time, the scientist FINALLY gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill. The poet accepted it graciously, turning back to the window.
"Wait!" the scientist shouted. "You can't do this to me!
What's the answer?" The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put a $5 bill into his hand.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Hildeguardslair WON. Her entry was from her shop CritterHabitat
1. My shop name is hildeguardslair.etsy.com
2. I signed onto etsy on Dec 26th of 2006
3. My Mom and I have always made things for the home, clothes, knitted and crochet afghans, and scarves, mittens or anything else we could think of. We had the hope of someday opening a craft shop. My Mom didn't live to see the dream come to a reality but this is the shop we always dreamed of haveing. I am so glad I found etsy.
4. My favorite thing about what I sell is taking a scrap of nothing and turning it into something. I am not explaining this well. I love making jewelry, I look at beads and I can picture how they will look when they are put together. I guess you could say the best thing I like about what I sell is the creative process, I love to make things. I love what I do and enjoy it.
5. This is the favorite thing in my Hildeguardslair shop.
I won the metal component in a trade game, then through a bnr I found the polymer clay beads and I was so excited, I love roses. It took 6 weeks for me to get the beads from the seller. There was a mix up with the mail and everything. I planned this piece in my head 9 different ways and this is what it turned out to be.
The favorite thing in my critterhabitat shop is my kitten. I love kittens and I have made so many of them. I made a little yellow kitten and that was my favorite kitten of all.
6. The only team I belong to is etsyfriends. I have checked out other teams but the friends team is it for me. The friendship, moral support and site help is the best.
7. I wish I could call promoting my shop fun. I was raised to believe if you promoted yourself you were bragging and that is a bad thing. I have to fight this everytime I list something for sale. I don't promote like I should, I do go into other threads and post my sales and my shop and let the shop speak for itself. I can talk about others peoples shops and really get it going, I wish I could feel better about doing it for my own shop.
8. I have 5 travel pillows from sygnetcreations, I bought them for the whole family, I have some wonderful lip gloss from sheltie19 and her dragons she does out of glass are to die for, I have a bunch of them. Happyathomehandmade makes the most wonderful beads, I have a lot of them. spiritedwoodland sent me the most wonderful little chair made for a fairy folk, my fire place is fantasy land with dragons, gnomes, and fairy folk, that chair just sets it off. I love my pocketpal from Mondrysyknotshop, I use it everyday. I could go on and on, I have a treasure trove of the most wonderful handcrafted items from etsy. Last year I had a handcrafted Christmas for my husbands family, every gift was from etsy.
9. My spare time is spent crafting, I call it my play time. I have to get my house work done before I can play then I craft most of the day. I am always makeing something, or planning on what I am going to make next. I do try to read a least 1 book a week, I love reading and I do some writing as well when I take a break from crafting but even that is play time.
10. I was kind of alone on etsy for a long time and it is hard to keep up the moral when views get low and no sales to speak of for a while, it is easy to just give up. I found etsy friends team and the support is so important and they are a great bunch of gals. It is so much fun when you see a post " I got a sale, wow," it is almost and good as getting one yourself you are so happy for them and they all feel the same way when it happens to you. It is like the sister hood of etsy. It is not all about etsy either, when there is a crisis in someones life they are only a convo away and they are there for you. The best way I can describe the friendship is with the old saying, "A true friend is there for you when they'd rather be somewhere else," that is the essence of the team.
Featured: dennisanderson, Jadedmind, Deebs, annwn, KrazyFashion, uncorked, sosorosey, ShySiren, hackberrystudio, catiesblue, CleanRinse, TweedleBee
Alternates Used: MVincent, EmbroideryStitches, fancy, sygnetcreations
You can find all of these great shops on Etsy
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Why Women Are Crabby
We started to 'bud' in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find that anything that came in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in school would snap until we had calluses on our backs.
Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had.
Our next little rite of passage was having sex for the first time which was about as much fu n as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.
Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were preparing to have Rosemary's Baby.
Our once flat bellies looked like we swallowed a whole watermelon and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER.
Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, 'Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar ... Calm down and push. 'Just one more good push' (more like 10), warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the
%$#*@*#!* hubby and doctor square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 pound bowling ball through a keyhole.
After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that when all that 'cute' wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.
Then come their 'Teen Years.' Need I say more?
When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday.
So we progress into the grand finale: 'The Menopause,' the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned 'buds' or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves.
Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men, when men get off so easy, INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks...
So, while I love being a woman, 'Womanhood' would make the Great Gandhi a tad crabby. You think women are the 'weaker sex?' Yeah right. Bite me.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I received this money saving recipe for free and I thought I would pass it along to all of my readers. In these hard times we can all use some money stretching ideas. Please check out the notes at the bottom as well.
Liquid/Gel Laundry Detergent
Use 1/2 Cup per load
Borax (located on top shelf in the laundry aisle)
Washing Soda (I use Arm & Hammer, located by the Borax)
Ivory Bar Soap or your favorite bar soap
Bucket for your detergent - I use a 5 gallon bucket w/ a lid - you want to have a lid
Optional Ingredients: 1/2 to 1 oz Essential Oils for fragrance (found at your local Health Food Store, such as Harvest Health)*** I do not use these because if you dry your clothes in the dryer the scent will dissipate in the heat.
Step 1: Shred or cut up bar of soap, I use 2 bars for my 5 gallon bucket but 1 works just fine.
Step 2: Dump shredded soap in your biggest pot of water (I usually get mine boiling, or just about there)- stir til melted.
Step 3: Add 1 Cup Borax, stir til dissolved.
Step 4: Add 1 Cup Washing Soda, stir til dissolved.
Step 5: Dump hot mixture in bucket after it is all dissolved together. Then slowly add warm water to fill the bucket. Stir periodically til it cools down. Sometimes I just dump cold water in and stir it well and that works just fine but the soap is more likely to form a thick gel layer on the top when I do that. A layer of gel on the top is fine, it still cleans great but I think the bucket lasts longer when I let it cool naturally and stir it periodically. Either way, you've got a very effective laundry soap that will clean your clothes. My initial investment was $12 for the borax, washing soda and 12 bars of Ivory soap. I probably got 25 gallons of soap out of that over time. This is the way many of our grandparents/great-grand parents cleaned their clothes. If you want a little extra whitening power - toss half a cup of baking soda into your wash. A great natural fabric softener is white vinegar, poured into the rinse water. Once your clothes dry they will NOT smell like vinegar.
~The finished soap will not be a solid gel. It will be more of a watery gel that has been accurately described as an "egg noodle soup" look.
~The soap is a low sudsing soap. So if you don’t see suds, that is OK. Suds are not what does the cleaning, it is the ingredients in the soap.
Friday, November 14, 2008
This is a team wide sale:
To find all the discounts head to our team promotion blog
Shops offering awsome discounts:
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
'And that's when the fight started'....
1) My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes', I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My Gosh!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person was able to go
on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started....
2) I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get
soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said,
'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's when the fight started..
3) A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's when the fight started.....
4) A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3
o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort of
bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, 'Holy Crap! That
must be my husband!' So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and
naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the
ground, ran through a thorn bush and then started to run as fast as he could to
his car. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed
at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah,
well then, why were you running?'
And that's when the fight started.....
5) When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....so, I took her to a gas station.....
And that's when the fight started.....
6) I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of
cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night
than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.........
7) I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....
1 pkg. any flavor Pillsbury Plus Cake mix
1/2 c. margarine or butter, softened
Combine all ingredients at low speed until thoroughly moistened.
Drop by rounded tbsps. 2" apart onto ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake at 350 for 9-12 minutes.
Cool 2 minutes, remove from pans.
**If using chocolate cake mix add 2 tbsp. water to ingredients.
**If desired, stir in 1 cup chocolate chips or 1/2 cup chopped nuts.
**If desired, frost cookies with your favorite flavor of frostin.
For sandwich cookies, spread frosting between 2 cookies
Monday, November 10, 2008
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma !
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling downlately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all . Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a , which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along withfive other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in -water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic,with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
1-1/2 lb. lean hamburger
1 pkg. Lipton tomato-onion soup mix (I just use off brand onion soup mix)
1 egg, beaten
3/4 c. ketchup
1 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
Mix hamburger, soup, oatmeal and egg. Spoon in loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 55 minutes. Top with ketchup mixed with Worcestershire sauce. Bake 5 minutes longer.
Friday, November 7, 2008
1 pkg. (8oz) cream cheese, sofetened
3 cups cold milk
2 pkg. (4 serving size each) Jell-o Vanilla flavor instant pudding
1 tub (8 oz) Whipped topping, thawed, divided
48 Nilla wafers
1/2 cup brewed strong coffee, cooled, divided
2 squares Bakers semi-sweet chocolate, coarsely grated
1 cup fresh raspberries
Beat cream cheese in large bowl with electric mixer until creamy. Gradually beat in milk. Add dry pudding mixes; mix well. Stir in 2 cups of the whipped topping.
Line bottom and sides of a 2-1/2-qt. bowl with half of the wafers; drizzle with half of the coffee. Layer half of the pudding mixture over wafers, and then top with half of the grated chocolate. Repeat all layers starting with the wafers and coffee. Top with remaining whipped topping and raspberries.
Refrigerate at least 2 hours. Store leftovers in refrigerator.
Tip: Unwrap chocolate squares, leaving each square on paper wrapper. Microwave on HIGH 10 sec., then grate with the largest hole of a cheese shredder.
Makes: 16 servings, about 2/3 cup each
Thursday, November 6, 2008
My entry is also available in my shop for sale and can be bought at any time.
Entry: "True Friends in Love Bracelet," by MondrysYknotShop
About: The perfect gift for your BFF. Show them the love.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A twist on the American classic apple pie.
- 10 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
- 1/2 cup packed light-brown sugar
- 3 apples, Empire or Gala (about 1 1/2 pounds), each peeled, cored, and sliced into 8 wedges
- 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled)
- 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 2 large eggs
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- 1/2 cup whole milk
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat bottom and side of a 9-inch round cake pan with 2 tablespoons butter; sprinkle bottom with brown sugar. In a medium bowl, toss apples with lemon juice; arrange in prepared pan in two concentric circles (you might not use all of them).
- In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon; set aside.
- With an electric mixer, beat remaining 8 tablespoons butter with granulated sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla; beat until incorporated. With mixer on low speed, alternately add the flour mixture in three parts and the milk in two, beginning and ending with flour mixture.
- Spoon batter over apples in pan; smooth top. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 45 to 55 minutes. Cool cake in pan on a wire rack, at least 30 minutes and up to 6 hours (if cake has risen above rim of pan, simply push back inside rim).
- To serve, run a knife around edge of pan, and invert cake onto a rimmed platter.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The new schedule is as follows:
Tuesday evening at 9pm for $5 with MondrysYknotShop
Thursday evening at 9pm for $10 with ZappyTurtle
Saturday evening at 11pm for $15 with KaleidoscopeKorner
This new schedule start on November 11, 2008
Would you like to join us for some fun and chatting, you can find us in the promo threads of Etsy.
I look forward to seeing some of my readers there.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I don't do windows because... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
I don't wax floors because... I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible and they may sue me.
I don't mind the dust bunnies because... They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
I don't disturb cobwebs because... I want every creature to have a home of their own.
I don't Spring Clean because... I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.
I don't pull weeds in the garden because... I don't want to get in God's way, he is an excellent designer.
I don't put things away because. My husband will never be able to find them again.
I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
I don't iron because... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".
I don't stress much on anything because... "A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty old woman!!!!