Funny email of the day

This one is thanks to the dad that I adopted Bill fox.

'And that's when the fight started'....



1) My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes', I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My Gosh!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person was able to go
on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started....

2) I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get
soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and
shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said,
'Well, then which one are you?'
And that's when the fight started..

3) A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old,
fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's when the fight started.....

4) A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3
o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort of
bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, 'Holy Crap! That
must be my husband!' So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and
naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the
ground, ran through a thorn bush and then started to run as fast as he could to
his car. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed
at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah,
well then, why were you running?'
And that's when the fight started.....

5) When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....so, I took her to a gas station.....
And that's when the fight started.....

6) I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of
cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night
than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.........


7) I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said
'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's when the fight started.....